Amanda Goff’s memoir is a poignant portrayal of living with bipolar disorder, addiction, and personality changes, which have impacted her life so far. Using a conversational tone, she does not hold back on her emotions and shows us how changeable and frenetic her life has been.
Born Amanda Goff, she was a successful journalist in London and Sydney. However, at the age of 38, she changed her name to Samantha X, and using this new persona, she became a well-known Australian high class, sex worker.
Samantha X was a strong, powerful counterpart to Amanda, the conservative, traditional woman with past traumas. Unfortunately, while providing an exciting, glamorous life with financial security, adopting a new persona also came at the cost of her true self.
When diagnosed with bi-polar, the difficult journey of retiring Samantha X and finding her way back to Amanda began in earnest, as past trauma, addiction, and destructive behaviours were faced head-on. The inner conflict and intricacy of the parting of the two worlds are expressed throughout the memoir, as an internal monologue between Amanda and Samantha X.
This journey of self-discovery is a genuine reflection of one woman’s personal transformation with a great deal of painful introspection to finally achieve self-acceptance.
‘I wanted to go back to the real me, Amanda Goff. Yet there was just one problem. I had no idea who she was. I had no idea who I was. I hadn’t been Amanda for years, decades. Samantha wasn’t leaving just yet; she wasn’t going to make a quiet exit. She wasn’t that type of woman.’
As I read this memoir, I could not help but admire Amanda Goff for her courage and strength to publicly share her story and her vulnerabilities as she faced her inner dragons and was confronted by social stigmas. The book is inspirational, easy to read, and relatable. It provides encouragement for others on a journey of self-discovery.
A selection of our Beauty and Lace Club members are reading Misfit by Amanda Goff. You can read their comments below, or add your own review.
Thankyou Beauty and Lace and Penguin Random House Publishers for the opportunity to read this fascinating book, ‘Misfit the Unravelling of Samantha X’ by Amanda Goff.
This follows the two previous books by Amanda. Those being about her experiences of being an escort.
This is more like an autobiography. Originally a successful journalist Amanda had spent the last decade as Australia’s most high profile escort, Samantha X before being diagnosed bi-polar. She found she had to discover herself all over again after the diagnosis.
Samantha had taken over all aspects of her life and Amanda was addicted to drugs and alcohol. After earning thousands a week, frequenting expensive hotels as well as being confident and successful, Amanda finds it difficult to give up the life Samantha is accustomed to.
She struggles to adjust, she blames herself and is in fact very hard on herself.
She seems unable to have a successful relationship being too trusting, men continually admiring her body and taking advantage of her trusting nature.
She had breast enlaregments up to the largest size permissable in Australia.
Now that she has taken steps to lose Samantha and to become Amanda again she finds acceptance and closeness with her two children, and many of her former clients are great friends. Several helped her during the difficult times she experienced when becoming Amanda again.
Amanda has turned her life around and is no longer controlled by Samantha, she is strong and confident!
A very interesting read which will be welcomed by the readers of her previous books as well as those who enjoy an entertaining read.
Misfit – The Unraveling of Samantha X
Thanks to Beauty and Lace and Echo Publishing for my copy of this book to read and review.
I actually had never heard of Samantha X previously so this was an interesting book for me.
Amanda was very honest and raw in the story. Becoming Amanda again after 10 years of being Samantha. Becoming sober, giving up the life she knew and thrived in, the money and the fame of being the most high profile escort in Australia.
At this time she was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Not knowing much about this disorder myself I found it really interesting. Her take on it and how it affected her and all aspects of her life. The mania and the lows.
Finding acceptance, self love and peace in her new self was her main focus even though the temptation of being drawn back into that world was strong.
I admire Amanda for writing her story and allowing us to see that she is a mother, friend and dog owner just like the rest of us, she is human.
Misfit by Amanda Goff is a very interesting memoir which completely absorbed me. It is the story of Amanda, a successful journalist who for decades adopted and lived by the persona of Samantha X, a high-end escort agency owner and worker.
Only after Samantha X was diagnosed with bipolar disorder did she decide to retire from her sex work business and role and revert back to who she really is, Amanda. Whilst this memoir was engrossing it was also hard to read as Amanda discussed her life choices, mental health, addiction issues and trauma. Her struggle to accept herself, heal and move forward as Amanda, and her battle to resist the pull by Samantha X to revert to her previous role and lifestyle was palpable. It is a raw, real and provocative read.
I totally respect the strength and courage it took Amanda to find herself again and to like what she has found after such a journey, and hope she is able to maintain her resolve to never go back.
Thank you Beauty and Lace and Echo Publishing for the opportunity to read and review Misfit.
Misfit – The unravelling of Samantha X
Quite an interesting read and also a bit sad, it seems “Samantha” lost alt of herself due to her professional career choices. I am not judging when I say this but it seems that she feel for the rest of her life that people will judge her. The book was very focused on how she felt and feels now.. it was quite the “face up to reality” sh discussed all the glory or the day and the daily struggles now trying to fit back into life after Samathan X. A good ready and give a good perspective of who choices while they seem great at the time can often be the unraveling of you mental health.
thank you Beauty and Lace for allowing me to review this book.
Amanda Goffs memoir Misfit – The unravelling of Samantha X was a definite stand out read for me so far this year. I’d only vaguely recalled hearing the name Samantha X on TV years ago and beyond hearing her name I knew nothing about her as a person or her lifestyle – I wasn’t even aware she had written 2 memoirs prior to Misfit. She was honest, raw and unapologetic about her past and where her Bipolar diagnosis has led to how she lives now. She has faced judgement, prejudice and dealt with a trauma that occurred earlier on in her life. Her self-doubt which is very evident through this book and is so very soul crushing. While it would be easy to give in to persistent voice Samantha X, Amanda faces her demons, she keeps it very real, nor does she ever hide who she was or what she did as Samantha X which can take a lot of inner strength and determination.
Thanks to Beauty and Lace and Echo Publishing for the opportunity to read and review Misfit.
Thank you Beauty and Lace for the offer to review Misfit- The Unravelling of Samantha X by Amanda Goff.
The memoir is how Samantha X, who worked as Australia’s most known high class escort is left behind so Amanda can shine. Amanda worked as a successful journalist and worked as an escort earning thousands of dollars a week. She had to become accustomed to leaving that life behind and she had trouble adjusting when she left escorting behind. For me I read an insight into addiction to drugs and alcohol, Amanda was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and she created an alter ego to deal with past trauma. Amanda had a history of complex trauma and was looking to make peace with herself. This book made me feel sad but I saw how strong Amanda is and how she has risen from the ashes. An amazing and interesting book.