BOOK CLUB: The Mother Wound

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The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar is a powerful non-fiction read.

Amani Haydar was pregnant when she received the news that her mother had been murdered and her youngest sister was injured. If that wasn’t bad enough, the murderer was her father. 

Amani shares with us her story. How she managed to deal with this horror and how her father felt no remorse and gave no apology for his actions. Instead, his family turned on Amani and her sisters because they were not supporting him. Total strangers left comments on social media. Comments filled with judgement and blame for her mother as if it was somehow her fault.

Amani explains how so many women deal with abuse on a daily basis and often in their own homes.  A place where they should feel loved and safe.  Not just physical but emotional abuse. She takes us through the legal process of the trial.

I feel that this is a must-read book. Amani shares her thoughts and feelings with such elegance. Through her words, you can feel some of her pain and I was left feeling so many emotions. I felt so proud of how she has handled everything and for her focus and dedication. 

I felt hurt and angry for her in the way other family members treated her and her sisters. But most of all I felt thankful that such a caring soul was willing to share her story.  She has educated me in certain aspects of her faith and for that I am very appreciative.

A selection of our Beauty and Lace Club Members are reading The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar. You can read their comments below, or add your own review.

ISBN: 9781760982454 / Pan MacMillan

10 thoughts on “BOOK CLUB: The Mother Wound

  1. As a reader who prefers non fiction I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar. To say I was riveted would be an understatement. I began reading the afternoon I received it in the mail and it was completed by the next evening. I found it very easy to read and very hard to put down. She writes from the heart and it often makes you feel like you are listening to a friend.

    It is a very emotional story that allows insight into the authors very personal life. As it occurs in a locality not too distant from where I live, I particularly liked the relevance. Whilst not being of Muslim faith, it gave me a greater understanding and allowed me the opportunity to appreciate the hurdles that are faced by many immigrant women in this country.

    My preference is always for true stories as they allow me to appreciate what I have and to empathise with the particular life led by others.
    Congratulations to Amani for putting her most personal thoughts into print and the courage to have it published for all to see. My heart goes out to you for what you have endured!

  2. The Mother Wound …
    I connected with this book straight away. Being the first generation to be born in Australia, and the eldest daughter, and first in family to attend University, I felt all the emotions, responsibility, and obligation to abide by my parents’ and extended family’s wishes, reputation and traditions.
    Then, it lost me. The human story took a back seat and the narrative drifted into facts/figures of war time. Fortunately, that only lasted a short while and it was back to the main character, Amani’s life.
    A shocking event brings tragedy and sadness to her life, all the while trying to be strong for her siblings. The beautifully accurate and articulate depiction of Australia’s legal system and media portrayal of victim-blaming, particularly in relation to culturally diverse cases. I was floored to read that coercive control was not a crime in 2017.
    The detailed description of Court proceedings and giving of evidence was heart breaking. The institution established to protect the innocent was morphing into a place where the innocent are cross examined in an attempt to trip them up and cast doubt on their testimony.
    Amani’s victim impact statement was pure poetry – straight from her broken heart.
    The last couple of chapters identified case studies, stories, and statistics of domestic abuse and feelings of shame. Cousins on her father’s side relentlessly chipped away at her resolve in an attempt to both silence her and encourage reconciliation with her father.
    The final pages were more of a general narrative about women in a patriarchal system, particularly Muslim women.

  3. The Mother Wound is a raw and emotional read as written by Amani. It’s the first book I am struggling to review as it has left me with so many emotions of parts of loving the book to parts of me feeling quite anxious.
    It is written from the heart and captures the a tragedy where her mother is killed by her father, a sister witnessing the murder, the family divisions of cousins, Aunts and Uncles. Going through the court system of trial, impact statements, witness statements and all while having two children and physiologically looking after herself and siblings.
    I found at times I wanted to stop reading BUT I needed to finish thee book or I would have kept wondering the outcome. I’m glad I did and have pondered the story for days.
    A powerful story I am glad I read.

  4. Thanks Beauty and lace and Pan Mcmillan for the opportunity to read and review The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar.

    As a lover of non fiction, This book had me hooked from the start. The story was absolutely devastating but was so well written I just had to keep reading well into the night.

    It was a great eye opener into not only a religion, but also customs and traditions of other countries. I learnt a lot about muslims and their traditions, and of course the horrible war torn country where we heard the devastating story of her grandmothers death.
    And for her father to go and do something so horrible to his wife, was so inconceivable and devastating for his daughters and son.

    I was happy most happy that Amani had the courage to stand up to her uncles and family and to read her victim impact statement in court, I cried when I thought of how hard that must’ve been for her.

    Amani’s story although absolutely devastating was a very well written, eye opening and thought provoking book and I would recommend it to anyone to read.

    Amani herself was so strong and I admire her courage, I hope this book gets the recognition it deserves!

  5. I was excited to receive the Mother Wound as I believed it would open me up to things that I would never have considered. And it did.

    Armani has certainly a gift for writing and her story was heartfelt but to the point. I did drift off at certain points where the politics took over but I persisted. I find that she has got to know her self very well and was able to articulate that and in doing so , revealed a very strong individual that had the support of her husband and sisters in the face of overwhelming family issues.

    I applaud Armani for her values and for writing this book not only on behalf of Muslim women but also for all women. My only concern while reading, was that all men were put into the same bracket as her families’ men, but I was relieved that towards the end she highlights the support of her husband and acknowledges that all men are not alike.

    I also like the fact that she could recognize her strengths and weaknesses, found ways to recreate herself thru her artwork and be an inspiration for young women thru her public speaking.

    Certainly an eye opener.

  6. A must read!

    Beautifully written, The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar is the true story of a Muslim woman from Lebanese immigrants and showcases the realities of growing up in Australia, whilst abiding by her families’ traditions and obligations. Then there’s the experience of a shocking and terrible family tragedy. This gripping novel gave me a deeper understanding of the Muslim faith as well as touching on the awfulness of domestic violence.

    A true story, Amani has written her memoir straight from her heart, reflecting on her experience through her childhood in Australia as well as her families’ experiences in war-torn Lebanon. A powerful and very moving novel, I felt deep anger at the situation but also deep sorrow. Whilst it was very heartbreaking, Amani’s strength really shone through. Thank you very much Amani for sharing your personal story.

  7. I must admit upfront that I am an avid fiction reader. Books are an escape for me and this is my way to escape into other worlds. However, this book just called to me from the start, and the eye catching cover artwork captured my attention. The story captured my heart. The betrayal of Amani and her siblings by their father’s and extended family’s actions was heartbreaking. The victim-blaming by the media and everyone else that felt the need to weigh in on such an intensely personal time was atrocious and I applaud Amani for calling it out. This is a book I won’t forget in a hurry. Thank you Beauty & Lace Bookclub and Pan McMillan for a copy of this book

  8. The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar was a great read and would highly recommend! It opened my eyes ups up to how different cultures and religions live with their traditions and family expectations.

    Amani wrote a beautiful and powerful true story about growing up as a Muslim woman and the heavy family expectations and realities she faced. The domestic violence in this text displayed by her father is heartbreaking and the recounts of the war going on in Lebanon is a real eye opener to how it would have felt to have your country with your family and people you know being torn apart.

    Amani wrote this book from the heart and it was a very emotional and powerful story. I highly recommend reading this book.

  9. The Mother Wound by Amani Hayday is a poignant and beautifully written true story. I found it both difficult to read, knowing it was straight from the heart and a true rendition of Amani Haydar’s lived experience, and hard to put down. I enjoyed the unfolding of cultural and religious expectations and obligations from the perspective of a young Muslim woman from Lebanon and the interface with life in Australia. The foundation of the book however was the loss of loved ones, Amani’s mother in the most extreme act of family violence and her grandmother as an innocent caught up in the tragedy of war.
    Thank you Beauty and Lace and Pan Macmillan for the opportunity to read and review the Mother Wound, it was a compelling read and I highly recommend it.

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